My Best Friend
by golly g willikers
Summary: Songfic on James and Sirius' friendship through Sirius' eyes


A/N: Yay! My first songfic! Okay, it's about James and Sirius' relationship. It kinda sounds like a slash, but I didn't mean for it to. I guess you could see it that way, though. It was written through Sirius' eyes

Disclaimer: JKR owns the characters, Tim McGraw owns the song! And I own...the computer it was written on!

_I never had no one  
I could count on  
I've been let down so many times  
I was tired of hurtin' _

_So tired of searchin'_

I don't get it. You were supposed to hate me from the moment you heard my name. You were supposed to shun me and only look at me to laugh. Everyone else had...why didn't you? I was a blood traitor; I wasn't the boy I was born to be. I was supposed to be in Slytherin, and you in Gryffindor. My friends were supposed to be stuck-up, pureblood gits, not you! Why did you accept me?

_'Til you walked into my life  
It was a feelin'  
I'd never known  
And for the first time  
I didn't feel alone_

I never had real friends before and my parents hated me. Mum wore the pants in the family, I can tell you that much. I wasn't the son she wanted, so she tried to make me. She hit and yelled and threatened. Dad was never there, but he agreed with Mum. They kept me locked up in my room all the time and I never met anyone. But, you met me. Why did you stay with me for so long?

_You're more than a lover  
There could never be another  
To make me feel the way you do  
Oh we just get closer  
I fall in love all over_

I left my family as soon as I could, and as often. Your family was so nice and loving and always there for you. It was the family I had always wanted. I have to admit, I was jealous. I wanted your family and I couldn't have it. You had love and I had abuse. You had hugs and I had slaps. You had "I love you's" and I had "You are a filthy worthless brat!" Why couldn't I be your brother?

_Every time I look at you  
I don't know where I'd be  
Without you here with me  
Life with you makes perfect sense  
You're my best friend _

You're always so happy and loving to your family. And it isn't fake. I'm happy at Hogwarts with you and our other friends, but it's kinda forced, your's isn't. My family hates me and they aren't afraid to show it. They would do anything to make me so frustrated and upset. I was so confused and upset when they were around and talking to---scratch that, yelling at---me, I felt like I was getting dumber and dumber everyday. You're my best friend, James.

_You're my best friend, oh yeah  
You stand by me  
And you believe in me  
Like nobody ever has  
When my world goes crazy_

You took me in when no one else would and stood up to the asses who were trying to get me down. When no one wanted to talk to me or thought I was just like my family, you looked past it, down to the real me. My head was spinning; I was in hurt by dad's word, mum's backhand, and the Slytherins' taunts.

_You're right there to save me  
You make me see how much I have  
And I still tremble  
When we touch  
And oh the look in your eyes_

I wanted to do anything to get away. I wanted to die, just curl up in bed and never get up again. But you---being the annoying prat bastard you were---wouldn't let me. You stopped me from doing something I would really regret...Well, actually, I wouldn't regret it, 'cause I'd be dead, but that's not the point. You're always there for me when I need you.

_When we make love  
You're more than a lover  
There could never be another  
To make me feel the way you do  
Oh we just get closer _

I would try to pull away. I didn't want to tell you I was sad or scared. I wasn't taught to do that. I wasn't allowed to show emotions, the more I did, the more hurt I'd get. But, the more I tried to pull away, the more you pulled me back towards you 'til I finally cracked. Now, you know everything about me, whether I want you to or not, you do

_I fall in love all over  
Every time I look at you  
And I don't know where I'd be  
Without you here with me  
Life with you makes perfect sense _

I'd be nothing without you. I'd be at my parents' place, being beaten and abused and who knows what else if it weren't for you. I could even be dead before my sixteenth birthday. You're always there to save me and I don't get it. How and why do you always do it?

_You're my best friend  
You're my best friend  
You're more than a lover  
There could never be another  
To make me feel the way you do _

I don't know what to do anymore. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here, but I never repaid you back. I took, but I never gave back. That's lousy and selfish of me. I don't deserve to be your friend. I was nothing but trouble. I was a definite bad influence on you. I shouldn't have anything to do with you. I was just made to marry a hot pureblood witch and make stuck-up, pureblood snobs for generations to come.

_Oh we just get closer  
I fall in love all over  
Every time I look at you  
And I don't know where I'd be  
Without you here with me_

You said you'd always be there and I did deserve to be your friend and I gave you everything. But I didn't. I didn't do anything but move into your house and kinda take over. How could that be good for you? Why did you even let me? I just meant to be there for a few days, not over two years!

_Life with you makes perfect sense  
You're my best friend  
You're my best friend (my best friend)  
You're my best friend (my best friend) _

Now, I finally understand. I gave you a friend. I gave you a brother. I helped you though the god, the bad, and the ugly. I helped you get Lily to be yours. I helped you get over all of Lily's rejections. I helped you get over loosing in Quidditch. I was a friend to you. And, when I moved in, I gave you something you really wanted. I gave you a brother.


End file.
